What If Sexual Health Care Started With Less Shame

A “full panel” STI test sounds like peace of mind until you learn what it often leaves out. We sit down with Robert Johnson, founder of Shameless Care, to unpack the testing blind spots that can quietly miss infections, especially when oral exposure is part of your sex life. His turning point is painfully relatable: a partner flags possible gonorrhea, he feels totally fine, and he is staring at a negative result from the week before. The catch? No throat swab, no real clarity.

We get specific about how STI testing actually works in the real world: why blood and urine alone may not be enough, why most STIs are asymptomatic, and why “full panel” is not a standardized button your doctor can click. Robert also explains how shame changes what people say in the exam room and how that can snowball into incomplete care. If you have ever walked out of a clinic thinking you were tested for “everything,” this conversation gives you better questions to ask and a clearer way to read your results.

Then we zoom out into prevention and modern sexual health tools. We talk PrEP as an HIV prevention breakthrough, U equals U and what it means for transmission, and DoxyPEP as a promising option that also raises real concerns about antibiotic resistance. We also highlight vaccines like HPV and hepatitis B as practical, cancer-preventing steps that too many adults still miss.

If you want smarter, shame-free sexual health information that you can actually use, listen now, share this with someone who dates, and leave a review so more people find it. What did your last STI test truly include?

https://shamelesscare.com/

https://youtu.be/e36gU87R-sU?si=dVsNUK8G9HcQSf7Q

Podcast: Sex Is Good https://www.buzzsprout.com/2505799

Transcript

Welcome And Meet Robert Johnson

Chris 1:01

Today's guest is Robert Johnson. Robert Johnson is the founder of Shameless Care. Let's welcome Robert Johnson. Hello, hello, hello. Hello, thank you so much. I'm excited to be here. Hello, thank you so much for being the guest here on Glass Half Full. We're so happy to have you today. Thank you. I'd like to ask first, can you tell everyone where you are in the world and what time it is, please?

Robert 1:31

I live in the suburbs of Chicago in Illinois in the United States, and it's 9.02 a.m. on a Saturday here.

Chris 1:38

Excellent. The chick in the car and the car won't go. That's how you spell Chicago. That's how I learned how to spell it when I was a kid. We love that. Awesome. Thank you for your time today. How's the weather?

Robert 1:51

It's beautiful. You know, our winters are tough, but our summers are beautiful. So it's a beautiful time of year right now.

Chris 1:58

Oh, nice. Excellent. Excellent. I love that. Well, we're going to jump right on in. I like to ask all my guests this first question. I feel that our lives are in spiritual design. Can you share your life layout or blueprint with everyone? This is where you grew up, your family lifestyle.

Robert 2:18

Absolutely. I mean, I grew up, you know, I graduated high school in 1998, and that was an interesting culture, a little rougher than I think it is now in some ways. And I also grew up in the in the what I would term the country, the country, you know, in a in a trailer house in rural southwest Missouri. And, you know, I was taught to to work. And my dad is still he has dementia and not in very good health. You better believe if he's physically able to, he's he's out on the farm working every day. Wow. And I think that's that's pretty ingrained in me as well, but in a slightly in a slightly different way. And that's why whenever I see a problem with something that I can fix, then

Growing Up Rural And Learning Work

Robert 3:04

I'm inclined to try to fix it, even if it doesn't make logical sense or sense to anybody else in my family or even self-worth. And I think that's kind of where we are today with with the company. So not sure if that answered your question properly or not.

Chris 3:17

But I No, you definitely started. Bring tell us a little bit more. Who about the person that you are like? Do you have siblings? Did you guys have a dog, a cat? Did you have a bird? Where did you go to school? What kind of degrees do you have? Tell us about who you are.

Robert 3:34

Oh, okay. Well, great. Well, I do have a sister.

Chris 3:38

Okay.

Robert 3:38

And one of the things that's potentially interesting about my childhood for people who are listening is that I I grew up in such a rural part of the country that there were five kids in my elementary school class, and one teacher taught two grades at the same time. Now, I know when I say that, it's going to sound like I'm 147 years old, and this was back in the 1800s, but it really wasn't. It was in the 1990s. It was just that small of a five kids in the class. Yeah, absolutely. And the same teacher teaching two grades at the same time. So if you were in third grade, you were also getting a little bit of a fourth grade education and so on and so forth. And so that was really interesting. And then whenever I went to high school, that was a much larger school. I got busted to a much larger school with about 40 kids per class. And I thought you had dropped me off in the middle of Manhattan. It just seemed so big and and so many people. And of course, this was pre-internet, or at least before I had access to the internet. So the world was just was just smaller in in general. But ended up going to college and then married my wife. My wife is a veterinarian. She went to college a little bit longer than than I did. Where did you go to school?

Chris 4:53

Oh, right, Missouri State. Hey.

Robert 4:55

Yeah, absolutely. The Ozarks, yep.

Chris 4:57

Yes, yes. Nice. So you met your wife in university.

Robert 5:05

Yeah, yeah, basically. That's nice. Yeah.

Chris 5:08

Awesome. And you said she's a veterinarian.

Robert 5:11

She is, yeah. So she went to school a little bit longer than me. So the first part of our marriage was me working and her, you know, going to school. And wouldn't trade those years for anything. It was wonderful.

Chris 5:23

Nice. And uh do you guys have any children?

Robert 5:28

We do, yeah. We have a a daughter who's in school here in the Chicago suburbs. And unlike me, she loves school, which I think is which I think is great because you have to do it. So what a blessing it is to actually love it.

Chris 5:40

You know it is really true, you know.

Robert 5:41

And enjoy it instead of having to fight your way through it, which is which is pretty much what my elementary school experience was like.

Chris 5:47

I love that. I love that. Okay, and so let's talk about your story. So I know it's something deeply personal, but through your mind when you realized about this story and all the things that happened, I want you to tell everyone exactly what has happened about the STD. Can you tell us the the story, please?

Robert 6:09

Yeah, I would be happy to. So I am consensually non-monogamous, and I know that's a term that most of your audience wouldn't have wouldn't have heard before. But essentially it's it, yeah, it means exactly kind of what it sounds like. I think most of your listeners would know what monogamy is, and then there's there's non-monogamy. And and believe me, there's plenty of people out there who are non-consensual non-monogamous, meaning they're you know, they're doing things outside of the relationship, but they're the only one that knows about it. And that's certainly a different situation. Yeah, it's called cheating. Yeah, that's certainly a different conversation altogether. Yes, indeed. But but anyway, that that'll explain how this middle-aged man on the interview right now ended up getting an STI. And I'd been getting an STI test every six months, just completely proactively, you know, screening. You always hear your entire life. That's the responsible thing to do. And so that's what I was doing. And then one day I had a partner text me and tell me that she thought I had given her gonorrhea. And I was really

The Missed Test That Changed Everything

Robert 7:10

surprised by that for two reasons. One was I felt absolutely fine. But the other one was that I was looking at this negative STI test result from just a week prior that, you know, I look at gonorrhea on the page and I scroll my finger over and it says negative. So it's like, okay, well, you know, I'm sorry that happened, but it probably wasn't me. And she said, Have you ever been throat swab tested? And I just thought, what the hell is that? I had gotten STI tested from you know urgent cares, my family physician, online places. It was always just a blood test, Chris, and a urine test. And for me as a male, that was all it ever was. And so I thought, okay, and I, you know, I get on Google at that point and I'm looking. It's like, okay, well, oral swabs are definitely a thing. Like, she's absolutely right about this. I better go get this checked out. What really floored me then was how hard that was to accomplish. So I went to one physician, my family doctor, and he clearly he just sometimes doctors, I work with doctors every day now. And, you know, sometimes doctors just won't know something, but it's kind of hard for them to go be like, I don't know.

Chris 8:15

You know, it is really, I guess his pride, I don't know, but it's true. You're right.

Robert 8:20

So he clearly didn't know what it was, but didn't say that exactly out loud. I was just reading between the lines, but he said, Don't worry. If if you had oral gonorrhea, you would also have it genitally. So don't even worry about this. You know, basically just go home. I'm paraphrasing this slightly for comedic effect, but that was the gist of it. The second doctor knew what it was and he ordered it, but then I went down to the lab in the bottom of the medical building. People listening will have to imagine this huge medical building with all of these doctor's offices, and then one lab at the basement that all the doctors feed their patients to. And down there was a phlebotomist, a lab worker, who this was not a young woman. It was clearly not her first day on the job. She knew what she was doing, but she didn't know what a throat swab test was and wouldn't do it. She had never done one in her career, which I have to assume was decades old. And I started putting two and two together and just thought, oh my gosh, what are we doing here? If people are having you know unprotected relations, I'll say, I'll try to keep this as I can.

Chris 9:21

It's fine. We're down tier.

Robert 9:23

Okay. Well, I if people are having unprotected oral sex, which a lot of people do, even people who pretty religiously reach for that condom for you know what might be considered to be the main event, a lot of those people have unprotected oral sex. And then if we're telling those people to get STI tested, but they're not being tested for the very place they're most likely to have one of these infections, then that's a huge problem. And I just could not, could not get that out of my head. Because I used to have a public health consulting company and I worked a lot with like childhood obesity grants and projects and things like that. And the truth is, Chris, those are very complicated problems of which nobody really knows the solution. Like, yeah, the solution is exercise and eat less. Easier said than done, my friend. And particularly when it comes to parents and small children and people living in poverty and all of these things. Like, those are very complicated problems. But the idea of, hey, if somebody is seeking STI testing, test them in all the places they could have these things. That seems like a pretty obvious problem to that. Seems like something that's easily solvable. It could be as solvable as educating physicians about this and other clinicians about this. And so that's why I started my company is because I just, it was the only way that I could personally address the problem. Now, my company is not huge, and believe me, every day, you know, thousands of people across the United States get an STI test, it does not include a throat swab. But we're doing the best that we can in terms of education and YouTube and our podcast and interviews like this. I mean, if if if nobody, you know, ever goes to shamelesscare.com after this interview, but there's maybe a clinician listening, maybe there's a nurse practitioner in Iowa listening to us right now, and she's gonna go, you know what? He's he's right about that. We should be doing oral swaps. Then this was, you know, then this was well worth my time to do this interview.

Chris 11:16

Yeah, no, I love that. And it's right, is we can reach one person or somebody says, hey, you know what, let me do that. The education of it. So let me be clear. The STI is the test, the STD is the the disease or whatever we want to say. Is that correct?

Robert 11:33

No, it so you know, these terms they've just gotten more kind of like this term, but the yeah, they've just gotten more woke over time. So it started out as venereal disease and people didn't like the way that sounded. So then it it changed to sexually transmitted disease, and now as a society, we've decided we don't like the way that that sounds. So now it's sexually transmitted infection. I don't know that it makes any difference in in reality, but these are just I've sort of trained myself to say STI now because that is the preferred name now. But but it is confusing to people who who still think of STDs absolutely.

Chris 13:00

Well, this is it because sometimes people don't say, hey, there's a new vocabulary that's happening for blood, you know, we just hear the term, and like no one is actually educating to say this is the new update about the terminology in today's time. So thank you for educating us and all the people who are listening because I'm sure everyone will have the same like, really? Some people will know, but some people won't. So let me ask you if you could change one thing about how STI testing is done today, what would it be?

Robert 13:33

I think a phrase that people use a lot is is a phrase called full panel. And so people who who are seeking STI testing for whatever reason, you know, somebody's recently divorced and now they're dating again, you name it, they they go to their physician and they want to be STI tested, they'll often say, I would like an STI test or I would like a full panel STI test. And what people are imagining is that that physician knows exactly what to do from that point forward. But if you look at the, you know, the doctors, at least in the United States, Chris, they're always looking at their laptop. They're not really looking at you most of the time. They're frantically trying to type notes during the three minutes they have in the exam room. And they're looking at this, at this software program, and there is no button that says full panel STI test. You know, what they have to do is imagine all of the sexually transmitted infections that this person might possibly have in all of the locations and hold that information in their brain as they hunt around the lab ordering, you know, software and click each individual box. And so, for example, at our STI testing at shamelesscare.com, there's 14 different sexually transmitted infections. So you can imagine how difficult it would be to remember all 14 of those sexually transmitted infections in order to those tests. And so I think that people need to not overestimate how much their physician knows about this topic and take a little bit more ownership themselves and really think through and study, which is super easy to do now with the AI engines and things like that, sure, what they might want to have included in an STI panel and then bring that information to their doctor who may or may not order those tests, but at least you're in a stronger position than if you just leave it entirely up to them. Because the truth is, if you went to 10 different doctors and asked for, asked each of them for a full panel STI test, you would end up with 10 slightly different tests. And and that would be that would surprise people absolutely.

Chris 15:29

Well, this is it, this is why people go and get a second opinion, right? They go to someone else to feel like, are you gonna give me some different, you know, diagnosis compared to the doctor that I have? And sometimes it is, right? Sometimes you go to a different doctor and they've got a whole different ordeal to say about the situation compared to the doctor you've come from. So, and then the patient is like, Well, what am I supposed to do? Right.

Robert 15:52

Yeah.

Chris 15:53

It's you know.

Robert 15:55

Well, you you imagine a physician is going to know everything about everything, and and they are brilliant people. I mean, these are people who were the smartest kids in elementary school and junior high and high school, and I mean, they're they're the gifted. There's no doubt about it. You can't pass medical school and become a physician unless you're incredibly gifted and work incredibly hard. I'm not taking a thing away from them. But the truth is, if you think about a family physician, you know, one person comes in with a sprained ankle, the next person comes in, she has a lump in her breast, the next person comes in, he has a cold. Then the next person comes in and you know is worried he might have contracted an STI. It's like, how could you possibly know everything about everything? And the other thing I'll say about it, Chris, is that if somebody comes into the exam room and and has symptoms, that's easier, that's an easier path to follow. Like, oh, I'm having trouble. This hurts, and and I'm worried it might be XYZ infection. A physician can easily walk through that and figure that out. But a very open-ended question of, hey, I'm I'm dating again and I want to make sure that I don't have any infections that I might possibly pass along to somebody else. Please test me for everything possible, you know, sex positive person. I I think that life is very short and it can be very cruel at times, Chris. And sex for a lot of people is in different cultures and different religions. I completely respect those, but but for a lot of us, sex is a really just a really cool and fun and healthy activity. And so I I never want to, you know, have this conversation about STIs and leave people frightened. You know, I have say I'm gonna answer, I'm gonna answer your question, but but first I just want to put some perspective on this. Okay. So I I had a gonorrhea infection of which I didn't even know I had. That's how little it was impacting my body. I had no idea I was sick. And it's just a simple bacteria infection that was cured with antibiotics, no different than strep throat, or you know, if you've ever had a bacterial infection in your life that required antibiotics to fix it, you contracted that from somebody else. And so whether that comes from sex or not is really not this moral black and white issue that people think it is. A bacterial infection is a bacterial infection, it's not an indictment on your life or anything like that. So I don't want to frighten anybody about these. If anything, I hope that people listen to me and feel better about STIs, if that makes sense. But the biggest mistake, Chris, to answer your question, and it is a good one, is they assume that if they get a full panel, you know, a negative test result, that that means that they don't have a sexually transmitted infection. But the truth is most people, sorry for the double negative, most people do not know what they were doing, what they were not tested for. Oh, wow. It's a little bit like, you know, I've never failed the bar exam, the exam to become a licensed attorney. I've never failed a bar exam in my life. Well, I've also never taken the bar exam. And I think a lot of people, you know, they go get an STI test and they're like me. Hey, hooray, it's negative. Life, life moves on, you know. But it wasn't because they weren't tested for all the things that that they could have had. Wow. Wow.

Chris 18:56

What an eye-opener, to say the least. So tell us a little bit more about your company, Shameless Care. Where did the name come from? Why did you decide on that?

Robert 19:09

I just think that the name fits what we're what we're trying to do. You know, when shame gets involved in situations, then people can feel panicked or rushed, or you know, the really the only way you're going to get quality health care is to not feel shame about the reason why you're seeking health care. That can make people be not quite as honest with their physician and and just a lot of you know, a lot of problems with that. And so the name just made sense when somebody first proposed that to me. I was just like, oh, that's it.

Chris 19:42

Okay, someone someone gave it to you. Okay.

Robert 19:45

Yeah, I just think it makes total sense. Shameless care, I think, is a is a is a great name for a company like ours. I think it fits exactly what we're trying to do. So telehealth at the end of the day is a pretty simple business, Chris. We're connecting patients with physicians and then with a lab or with a pharmacy. So we do medications as well. And that might be the easier way for people to

Why Shame Breaks Health Care

Robert 20:07

think about this. So let's say that somebody approaches us and it's a woman and she has a bacterial vaginosis infection. And if somebody in the audience doesn't know what that is, it doesn't matter. She has an infection of which she knows what it is. She's had it before and she needs treatment. And so they go to shamelesscare.com. We connect them with one of our board-certified physicians. So we have a team of physicians that are licensed in every state in the United States. And that patient typically fills out a medical intake form. Some states require a synchronous visit, where that might be a video call or a phone call, but in most of them, you can have an asynchronous visit where you essentially fill out some forms with your information and then a doctor reviews that. Likewise, with STI testing, if a patient wants to be screened for STIs, they can choose which STI testing panel they prefer. Then they fill out a medical intake form, which asks them some really smart questions like Have you ever been treated for syphilis before? Are you on any HIV preventative medications? What allergies do you have? What other meds are you on? And people are always like, why would you ask all of those questions? Well, our physicians also treat patients. So if somebody does have something like a chlamydia infection, for example, they'll just send the prescription right to the local person's pharmacy. But anyway, the doctor reviews the medical information, orders the testing kit, and the testing kit, and this is really cool, actually goes to the patient's home. Oh, wow. And there they collect their own samples right there in the privacy of their home. So they're never having to go to, you know, to a to a kind of a tough phlebotomist's office like I was telling people. Well, there's no shame, right?

Chris 22:00

There's no sense of being embarrassed of walking, you know, because it is to even to walk in those offices. Everybody knows why everybody's there, but there's still embarrassment. You can feel it in the air, you know. So wow, awesome. Please continue. Please continue.

Robert 22:15

So they collect the samples in their home and then they mail them to the lab. And two days after it reaches the lab, the lab gives the results to the physician and the physician shares them with the patient. And so it's something that people can truly do from home, which is really, really cool. And I think is the future of medicine in a lot of ways. I think telehealth is only going to grow. And I think people doing labs and things like that from the comfort of their own home is absolutely the future.

Chris 22:42

Now, does it does it take insurance? How does that work about the payment? Are people paying like cash or like sorry, not cash, but paying a payment like when they get their arrival? How does that work? Does the insurance company come into play with this or no?

Robert 22:58

We don't use insurance, Chris. And the reason why, and I had to make this decision early on in the process, but what STI tests various insurance companies will cover depends upon so many things, including what state the person lives in, their gender, their sexuality. Wow. It's extremely complicated. And, you know, I think some of your listeners have probably had this experience where you go to the doctor, you get your blood drawn, the doctor gives you some information, whatever. And then, you know, six weeks later, eight weeks later, you get a random bill from the laboratory, which you've never even heard of before, but it's the lab that your doctor sent you. This happens in the United States anyway, Chris. You may not be subject to this. No, we don't.

Chris 23:42

This doesn't happen here. But yeah, you're right. We've lived in America long enough. They send that bill. They send that bill.

Robert 23:48

Yeah, you get this random bill from a lab you've never even heard of before. And it can be for, you know, 300. $500, $800. It's just crazy. And, you know, we so for that reason, we just accept it is called cash in this business, though obviously it's a credit card or a debit card or something like

How At-Home STI Testing Works

Robert 24:05

that. You're doing it online. But that way people know exactly what it costs right up front. And there, there's no surprises. They're never going to get an additional, additional bill from a lab or something like that. And if we accepted insurance, the truth is, Chris, some people would get that covered by their insurance. Others would end up getting a bill later that costs way more than what we charge now. So the only way to really control anymore in 2026 what something is actually going to cost the patient is to just not accept insurance.

Chris 24:33

Well, I get it. I get it. So since that time that you've had this experience with this, have you ever had a STI since then?

Robert 24:45

I haven't, Chris. And I have been non-monogamous. Thank you for well, thank you for your honesty.

Chris 24:50

Thank you. You know what I mean? Like, thank you for your honesty. Okay, that's good. And I'm sorry, you were saying that you are a monogamous. Did you say monogamous now?

Robert 25:00

No, no. I was just gonna say that I, you know, I've been non-monogamous for for a long time, and that was the only STI that I had ever contracted. And I don't know that I'll contract another one again.

Chris 25:11

Are you still this way now? Non-monogamous?

Robert 25:14

Yes. Even though you're married. But I think right. Okay. I think what I think what people would be surprised to know is how low our STI rate, positivity rate is at chainlesscare.com. So we advertise on a lot of different types of podcasts and things like that, Chris. And you know, you know, for example, we we have people who are customers who this is like their thing. This is like their their hobby. This is what they like to do. You know, they like to hook up with people. And and it's so easy for people to think, oh, they must be, they must be spreading all kinds of diseases. You know, our overall positivity rate across all infections at shamelesscare.com is except for herpesimplex virus, which is pretty much universal at this point. We can talk more about that if you want, but but excluding that one is less than 1%. And that is a tiny fraction of the general population in the United States. And I think it's because people who you know interact with us on our YouTube channel and our podcast and might order testing from us or whatever it is, they they're really progressive and careful and educated. And STIs, like every other poor health outcome in the United States, is intimately linked with income and education. And so it people's income and education and the the the network of people that they might be intimate with matters so much more than the number of partners that somebody might have. And and that's really interesting and it's counterintuitive to what most people, to what most people think. And and this is an incredibly nuanced subject, Chris. You know, a lot of people hear consensual non-monogamy and they're like, well, that's that's really weird. But then if they think about their own life, you know, maybe they were dating somebody two years ago, and and that was that was the love of their life. And they were intimate with that person, but you know, something happened eight months after that and they broke up. And then there was a new love of their life that came along. And, you know, four months after that, oh, that didn't work out too well either. And then now there's a third person. So that's not everybody's story, of course, Chris, but but there's something called serial monogamy, where yeah, that person's monogamous, but if you looked back over the past five, 10 years of their life, like there's been a few partners, and the end result is the same. You're somewhat exposed to STIs in a very similar way.

Chris 27:42

Question for you. What do you think about now there is there's preventative medicines that you can take for stopping catching of the of HIV and some of the other I think oxypoxy? I forget what it's called. Uh, there's another one that people are taking with it. What is your opinion about that? Are you for it? Do you think that it's something great? Do you think that people still should be using protection with that? What is your opinion about that? I think prep is the name. Sorry, I couldn't think of it.

Robert 28:19

Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, Chris, when I was young, HIV and AIDS was was a nightmare. I mean, it it was killing people. People would find out they had this, and you know, nine, ten months later they would they would pass away. And it wasn't an easy death. It was it was disgusting, it was horrible. And that still happens to people even today in various places around the world and even in the United States for people who for some reason just aren't having access to health care. And they there's resources available to those folks, but you know, people might be unhoused or

Non-Monogamy And Real Risk Drivers

Robert 28:49

living in crisis or what have you. But my point is that that is such a miracle. I mean, that that was developed by the United States government and the pharmaceutical company Gilliad, and it has saved countless people from around the world. And I and I don't think people think about that enough or appreciate it enough. It's something that all of us should be so thankful for, even if PrEP is not something that makes sense in our lives in particular, because this was such a nightmare that was just now 100% preventable, and and that is an absolute miracle. And and so I think that you know, when people question it, like, well, you know, now people have this tool, so they're not even using condoms anymore. You know, my response to that would be what is the alternative to not have it? You know, and if and if if some gay men, right? And it and if gay men who had to fear for their life every time they had sex from the early 1980s until 2012 when PrEP was developed, it if if this gives them such a sense of of freedom and that that they sometimes feel like they can have sex without condoms, then I I mean, honestly, I think that's probably a positive thing overall.

Speaker 1 30:11

Okay.

Robert 30:12

And and so I I think PrEP is a miracle. And and and and the government, the United States government does not get enough credit for the development of PrEP and for buying millions of doses of it and sending it around the world. I mean, we certainly have our problems in the United States, no country is perfect, but but that is a really a gift to the world that I don't think people appreciate enough. DoxyP is a different story because with PrEP, you don't really have so for listeners who might not be familiar, PrEP is a medication that people can take every day, or there's also now an injectable version, and essentially it takes someone's risks of HIV down to practically zero. Even if someone was exposed to HIV multiple times, their risk is practically zero if they're on PrEP, this medication that can prevent HIV. There's also now medications that can treat HIV and make people who are HIV positive what's known as U equals U, which means undetectable and untransmittable, which is also just another miracle. These drugs are basically the same, just used differently, by the way, but that's beside the point. So imagine someone finds out that they have HIV in 1984, they're probably going to pass away in very short order. And today they can take medications that make the virus so under control that it can't even be detected in a blood test, then it's impossible for them to transmit it to another person. Now, doxypep, on the other hand, is a different medication for a different purpose. DoxyP is the antibiotic doxycycline, which has been around for about 50 years. And if you take a single dose of it after sex, it pretty dramatically lessens the likelihood of contracting gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis. And there are concerns with that medication about antibiotic resistance, because if you think about it, everybody listening to me right now has always been told to finish your antibiotics. Finish your antibiotic. Even when you feel better, finish your antibiotics. It's right there on the bottle that you get from the pharmacy. It's true. But now we're telling people well, you know what, take this antibiotic whenever you want. You can take a dose now, you can take a dose next week. Just whenever you get laid, and forgive me for being a little crass, go ahead and take a dose of this antibiotic. And so that is that is there is need for caution there because it could lead to additional antibiotic resistance. And that is something that is being studied continuously. Using doxycycline to prevent bacterial infections is nothing new. People have been using doxycycline to prevent malaria in places in the world where malaria still exists for you know decades. People use doxycycline after tick bites in the United States to prevent Lyme disease. And so now we do that in the United States and in other places in the world to help prevent some of the bacterial STIs. But the jury is still out about if that is a good public health move or not long term. And the reason why it might not be is because of antibiotic resistance.

Chris 33:16

Wow. And does it take away the HIV as well or no?

Robert 33:20

No, it only reduces the risk, but doesn't eliminate the risk of gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis, which are three bacterial STIs. Got it.

Chris 33:31

Got it. Break it down for us, Robert. Break it down. Yes. You know, I love I love it when people can spoon feed it because, you know, everybody doesn't know all of this, you know. So it's nice when people can really get the full understanding. And so when people know what they're talking about, it's nice when you can just lay it out. Yeah. Nice. And thank you for sharing the breakdown of all three of them as well, giving their names and what the, you know, what's happening with it so people can really understand the difference about them as well. So thank you for for breaking that into it. So let me change a little bit. Let's let me ask you for parents who are listening. What do you think about the conversations about sexual health should begin? When do you think that they should begin? At what age? And then I have a part two to that is I want to know how can they avoid about making it awkward? Because that's what a lot of people are have. Lord knows my mom didn't talk to me about it. Because she didn't feel comfortable about it. Bless you. I love you, mom. She's not listening anyway, but yeah, anyway. So please, for the parents listening.

Robert 34:43

Oh, Chris, I wish I had the answer to that. I really don't.

Chris 34:47

Okay, when did you let's yes, talk about your experience then? When did you talk? When did you share with your child?

Robert 34:52

You know, I'd like to share with the audience another experience that I have. So we were we were going through an adoption process, and we met a a young woman who was in medical school, and she was had found herself with an unexpected pregnancy. And she was looking to adopt play

PrEP, U Equals U, And DoxyPEP

Robert 35:13

place her baby into adoption. And, you know, in talking to her, it became obvious to me that the reason why she felt like she needed to make this decision is because she couldn't tell her parents. And and she was, like I said, in medical school. So she was probably like 26 or 27 years old. Oh, she wasn't a kid. And no, she wasn't a kid. And you know, I I've I've always just felt as if this idea that we tell our we tell our young people, you know, don't have sex. And by the way, if you get pregnant, I'll kill you. Like that, that is honestly the way that some people have that conversation.

Chris 35:52

Don't bring no baby up in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Robert 35:54

Yes, yeah. And and and I just, you know, forgive me. This is just my opinion from my life experiences. I just feel like there's there's almost no good that can come from that. Because if that child ends up in some sort of trouble where they really need mom and dad again, like that young woman did, they have nowhere else to go. You've already taken that away from them. And and so I'll never forget that. And so I don't know the perfect time to sit down and have a conversation with with young people or children about sex, Chris. But I can tell you this. What I'm going to spend time telling my daughter rather than you better not get pregnant, you better not, you know, I'll kill your boyfriend if I, you know, I want her to know that I love her very much and she can always come to me. And I will always do my best to help her. And I think that people just kind of lose track of that as your responsibility as a parent not to not to threaten and make sure they know that they that they will have no help when in fact they they need it.

Chris 36:52

Okay. Now, Robert, how old is your child, may I ask? She's 10. Okay, because you talking, I was like, you you not giving me full truth. Now, as the dad, as I say, it would be your job to talk to her about the male having condoms. I talked to my niece about having condoms on them, that they we went to the store so they knew what to get, all of this stuff. And I was like, they need to know this information because the guys are gonna play the game. They're gonna be like, oh, I don't have it, or I don't have it. And that's when she, you know, she can pull into her bag and say, Oh, okay, I have one and understand about what it is. So I think that for a dad, I think it's definitely your place to share that with your daughter when it becomes time, whenever you feel that it's time for her to know about it. She's 10, so I get it. But, you know, interesting enough, it would be something that the mom would be a little weird for the mom to be talking about with the child, in my personal opinion. I don't have children, so I'm speaking freely, but I am a teacher and I do have young nieces. So, but I think that, you know, early is better than late because the internet is already talking about it. At school, they're already talking about it. And so if kids can have the knowledge and information early, then they can understand how to use it when negative things though are thrown their way, that or lies are told, they understand, you know, they can stand firm in their truth. So awesome. Thank you for sharing your truth about that with you know, when you're ready to share for your child as well. So let me ask you if someone is dating today, what are three things they should know about STI testing that most people don't?

Robert 38:38

That's a great question. So three things would be that most STIs are asymptomatic. So people are continuously wanting us to talk about, okay, what are what are the symptoms of of mycoplasma genitalia, for example? And your audience is never going to have heard that word before.

Chris 38:52

I'm like, I've never heard that boy before.

Robert 38:55

And we don't really like to talk about symptoms too much because the truth is the the biggest symptom is no symptom at all. So if you're sitting around waiting for this magical symptom, that's not really as helpful as as you might think. The second thing is that oral sex can certainly spread a lot of a lot of STIs. It's it doesn't seem to spread HIV very readily or hepatitis B, but certainly the bacterial STIs, of which we spent a lot of time talking about, and those are the ones that are much more common, by the way. Oral sex can spread those STIs, you know, quite well. And the third one is that we do have, and I think you were you were asking about the third

Talking To Kids Without Fear

Robert 39:33

one, Chris, is that you know, vaccinations are absolutely key. We talked about PrEP earlier being a medical miracle, and the HPV vaccine has been as well. And and so if your audience isn't familiar, HPV, a human papillomavirus, is a family of viruses. There's about 200 or so. And some of them are most of them are harmless, so far as science knows right now, but some of them are quite harmful and can cause cancer, cervical cancer, or pharyngeal squamous carcinoma of the throat, penile cancel, cancer, anus cancer. These are serious health matters. And this has always just been something that we had to live with. But starting in 2006, there was the HPB vaccine, which in the United States, young girls started getting in 2006. And then boys a little bit later.

Chris 40:26

Oh, the boys did get it. Okay, I didn't know that.

Robert 40:28

The boys did get it, yeah. And and it's been it's been miraculous. You know, in England, I saw a story out of England the other day that said this was the first time where there's been a five-year period in England where there hasn't been any cervical cancer deaths among young women. The cervical cancer rates in the developed world are dropping by huge amounts. Oh. Everybody listening to me right now might you you probably do have a woman alive in your life right now because of that vaccine. Now, you won't know who she is because she never developed cancer and you never heard about it. But without that vaccine, it may well have happened. And so I just think that people, particularly people who missed those vaccinations when they were young, it's not too late now. If you're someone that is that is sexually active, you may want to talk to your physician about getting the HPV vaccine and the hepatitis B vaccine as well, because those are two STIs with serious health complications that you can basically pretty well check off the list. Yeah. Yeah. With just a simple vaccination.

Chris 41:29

My niece received it when she was like growing up. I remember that being like, What? Yeah, because we it wasn't something that was happening when we were kids. So, but yeah, I remember that they were getting that's why I didn't know about the boys. I don't have any nephews, but yeah, the girls did get it for that.

Robert 41:47

Wow. It's funny, yeah, it's funny how these vaccinations change. It's like, well, why did we only start off giving it to girls? Why didn't we start off giving it to boys as well at the same time? But that's a decision they made at that time and then quickly, quickly corrected it.

Chris 42:00

Well, thank God for the correction. This is where we at. You know what I mean? It's okay that they didn't, whatever, but thank thank you for the correction, feeling like everybody can be on the same board of being, you know, free and not having anything to deal with that. So oof. Let me ask you are there any questions that patients might be too embarrassed to ask, but should yes.

Robert 42:27

Well, particularly around erectile dysfunction, that seems to be where people also have a big hang up. Let's break this down.

Chris 42:33

I can guess it. Let's let's break it down, please.

Robert 42:40

What people don't realize is that a a lot of erectile dysfunction can be can be mental. And it can be context dependent and partner dependent. You know, for example, Chris, when we talk about condoms and STIs, I saw a study recently where they they looked at condom-induced erectile dysfunction. And these are men who they normally don't have erectile dysfunction, but there's something about reaching for that condom, opening the condom, all of that process that causes them to lose their erection. Wow. And now that's there's a name. There's a name for everything.

Three Things Most Daters Miss

Chris 43:22

You know what? You're right. What is this called? Yeah.

Robert 43:26

Condom-induced erectile dysfunction. What? Yeah. So a lot of men don't really have any trouble. But you know, if you think about it, Chris, sex is a very kind of, I mean, it's a brainstem level, sort of, you know, just ingrained in the human DNA drive. But when you go to rummage through your backpack or whatever and and find that condom and open it up, you're you're really transitioning back to this, to this cognitive process that is a little bit different than sex itself. And that can cause some men to lose their to lose their erection. They get a little bit flustered or whatever. But my point is, Chris, the study, what was really profound to me is what the men did afterwards. What did they do? Because a lot of the men still had sex, they just had sex without a condom. And then I have to think that, yeah, I have to imagine there might have been some coercion at that point and things like that, because here's their partner who intended to have condom-protected sex, but when the male couldn't perform and got embarrassed and probably flustered and who knows what, maybe even angry, they were like, Oh, okay, well, let's just, you know, let's just do it without it. And that's that's not okay. And so I think what people need to be open and honest with their physician about is, you know, be open and honest. Like this, I don't have this problem. I'm still getting erections in the morning, everything seems to be working fine. But when I'm in this particular situation with this particular person, then I struggled. And and that's hard to do. It's hard to get into that kind of nuance, but that can really help the physician better understand what's happening.

Chris 45:00

This is true. I mean, definitely being honest about what's really going on, then they can give their best, you know, information about it. Understandably so. Wow. I want to talk about your podcast. Tell us a little bit about your podcast, successful podcast.

Robert 45:21

Well, it's not exactly Joe Rogan, but we're doing the best we can. And we have to do that.

Chris 45:25

Hey, we I mean, hey, this is not Joe Rogan either, but everybody's got their own mission. No competition. There's enough that we can share. Yes. Tell us about it.

Robert 45:34

Absolutely. Well, our podcast is called Sex is Good. Is it? And it's a podcast where we hopefully it is. Right. Right. And it's a podcast where we talk a lot about the science of of sex. So it's not just STIs, but it is very much a science based podcast. So we'll we'll talk about the recent studies about different things. It might be orgasm or human connection or, you know, you name it, we'll talk about it and we'll we'll break it down completely from a science point of view. And so at the heart of it, it's a science podcast, but it's also a podcast that's about that's about sex. And it's something that we get a lot of enjoyment out of. It's something where you can have deep conversations, as you know, Chris. I think

Erectile Dysfunction And Condom Anxiety

Robert 46:19

that's the best thing about the podcast is you can have deep conversations about things in a way that really isn't conducive to Instagram. You know, if you don't if you don't hook somebody immediately with how you look or some crazy trick you're doing on Instagram, everybody's gone in half a second. You don't have time to have a conversation and that's what I think is so brilliant about the podcast medium.

Chris 46:43

So true. You do have a chance to really bring people in on on serious topics, mature topics where people can have, you know, it's just more real and more honest, I feel. And like you say, when we're on some of the other platforms, it is we can't help but see how people are dressed and what they have on and what's in the background. There's lots of distractions for the eyes. And so this way you, you know, when there's no distraction we're forced to really listen in in a deeper way. And even if people are viewing as well, nothing wrong with that. I have a few podcasts that I love to watch as well. But there's just more work that's going into it. And ideally, you know, as long as the message is getting out at the end, that's what's really is important. So we love that. We love that. How long has your podcast been going?

Robert 47:34

We started in May of 2025. So I guess 14 14 months. Yeah. And we we have a YouTube channel as well. And again YouTube is kind of a nice medium because there's an algorithm first of all in like podcasting. So a video can kind of catch on, you know, if it's good enough. Very true. And yeah and and also it you know people are seeking out information on YouTube in a way that they they don't really seem to be seeking out information on Instagram and and things like that. You can tell I'm not very good at Instagram and I kind of have some sour grapes about it.

Chris 48:05

Well hey let's say that we are we are getting better at it you know unless you plan to let it go then that's fine. You can Robert you can't be great at everything now. Come on come on now.

Robert 48:17

You know work in progress is always good definitely for sure I like to ask all my guests this final question is your glass half empty or half full my glass is definitely half full i i am so thankful that we we live in a time where we can share information and and we can challenge things and that's really particularly important in my line of work because something something negative happened to me but I I have the opportunity to do what I can to fix it.

Chris 48:51

And and that to me is what makes life worth living I mean I I I love the freedom to to try to help other people and I'm really optimistic about the future my own future the future of my family future of the business future of sexual health care I'm I'm optimistic I'm bullish on all of it as they say I love that if every if one listener could pull out one message from this sexual health chat that

Sex Is Good And Science Talk

Chris 49:24

we've had what would you want to leave them with? What kind of final thought would you want to leave the listeners with I would say that if you are sexually active to try to separate guilt from the realities of the healthcare situation.

Robert 49:46

As I stated earlier Chris if somebody is at risk of very serious STIs like HIV, we have medications now that can take that risk basically away and if somebody is avoiding testing because they're worried they might have something like chlamydia or something along those lines these are relatively harmless infections if they're tested and treated in the short term. And they certainly do not have any impact whatsoever on if you're a good person or a bad person.

Chris 50:22

They're just simple bacterial infections that have been spreading for a very long time and will continue to do so in in the future I love that I love that do you feel that you're doing your life's work your purpose that's a great question.

Robert 50:42

It's okay I've done go ahead yeah in in my life I've done several things it's it's hard for me you know Chris I'm like the only person my age that I know that doesn't have a tattoo and it's because I've just never can we ask how old are you because you keep throwing out these number references how old are you Robert?

Chris 51:01

Let's let's put it out I'm I'm 46. Oh my gosh Robert I'm older than you I don't have a tattoo either so I'm in I'm in the bandwagon with you. Now I have a lot of fake tattoos that I put on and they come off with alcohol but yeah I don't have a real tattoo either.

Robert 51:16

Okay go ahead I just wanted to see how old you are go ahead well my point is you know like when I was young and and when I was young everybody was getting these tribal tattoos around their biceps right yes it was very popular since the late 1990s. Yes and I just thought the odds of me still being into that in 10 years 20 years is is near zero. Meanwhile all of my friends are like oh dude this is always going to be cool I'm getting this right now. So my life work is always sort of changing that this is what I'm really super passionate about right now because of the personal thing that happened to me. I think my my lifetime passion is not necessarily sexual health I think it is public health. I I've spent my career in public health I think that you know health is wealth and and and and the truth is that at least in the United States your your health primarily depends upon your your income and your area code and and and that's really unfortunate. And and so I think that my life work is is helping people live live healthier lives. Right now that is sexual health who knows what it'll be in in 20 years.

Chris 52:21

Hopefully this whole idea of of no one getting oral swabs is just not even a problem and I can move on to something else right right you're educating you you're an educator you're educator maybe among many things but you're definitely educator super super amazing chat today. Thank you for the time coming out to just share all of this amazing information and like you spoon fed us. You I feel like somebody's just bib me up wipe my chin because you really gave it to us easy we could understand so fluidly thank you for all of your breakdown and thank you for your service and what you're doing for the people the knowledge that you're giving and the understanding about feeling that you know about things being shameless right that we can shamelessly care for ourselves and get the understanding with it. So we thank you Robert for your time today.

Robert 53:18

Well thank you Chris you're fantastic at this by the way you've picked up a new listener because I could I could listen to you all day and I I love your positive energy so I'm not sure what made you grab that podcast mic to begin with but I certainly hope that you continue to do it because you have a real gift for this.

Chris 53:35

Oh that's so sweet. Thank you so much. And you know today is our fourth year anniversary of the podcast. So it has been four years today that I have started this. So it's just been a blessing and I'm so

Final Takeaways And How To Connect

Chris 53:47

grateful. So thank you for those lovely and kind words for today. Can you tell everyone if they want to reach you and find out more about you how can they do it? Where do they go? They want to know about shameless care.

Robert 54:00

Tell us yeah absolutely you can go to shamelesscare.com and then also on Instagram it's shameless care official and on YouTube it is shameless care official as well. And the podcast is Sex is good because I realize when people are searching Spotify shameless care is not going to mean anything to them so I tried to look there. Smart man.

Chris 54:23

Yeah yeah that's great that's great awesome and all this information will be listed underneath the the episode so that way everyone can easily access it and find it there. Thank you so much for your time today. We really appreciate you for being the guest here on Glass Half Full Thank you. It was really fun. My pleasure you have a wonderful and awesome day ahead you too thank you